Hard Truths

I observed a certain pattern in my life, one that I am not so proud of and often times lament at this because no matter how hard I try it happens over and over again. This is the thing; when I get an idea I getreally excited about it. I literally see the end from the beginning (envision how it’s all going to play out) , I go a step further to written down every tinny little detail for its implementation but I never ever get it done, this  has become vicious cycle and has resulted in a string of unfinished projects. I guess the only thing I’ve managed to finish up is having a shower and cooking a meal (most of the time because I have to).

Before you judge me, saying you have to be disciplined, diligent, concentrate or seat your ass down girl and finish something for once. I would like to say that I have exhausted all possible options such as writing out SMART goals weekly, monthly and even annually, having a daily to do list (which I start and obviously never finish), allotting time to each activity but It never seems to work. I could go on and on.

One day being feed up with myself, took a pen and paper to write out why I could never finish anything I started. Determined not to stand up until the ordeal was over, I discovered the following alarming truths about myself:

Not enough faith:

 I know I am smart and I’ve got a lot of mind bubbling ideas but I’ve never really had faith in myself. I mean I obviously had enough faith to start but never really had enough faith to finish. Thinking further, I realized that the reason I did not have enough faith in myself is because I am from a family with really very intelligent parents who have got great ideas and go ahead to implement them (i.e. business ideas) at the beginning it goes well but it eventually crashes. Although they fall and rise again (and they are now stable rising steadily) somewhere deep down in my heart I still feel it’s not going to be any different with me and I don’t want to go down that road.The past is the past and my folks (parents) have obviously recovered, I think my head is aware of this but my heart has to really accept it.

Do it all at once attitude:

I am every spontaneous in nature, I always want it done fast and done all at once. Hence I don’t appreciate step by step progress, and whenever I fail to meet up I condemn myself and the project/ activity too. You can say it ‘I do not appreciate my capabilities’. I have failed to realize that i never really accomplish a series of thing at once, but that whatsoever I’m able to accomplish right now is enough for now and by the grace of God I can finish it up later.

Acceptability:

I take people’s opinion very seriously and I am afraid of what they would say, so if I have the slightest hunch or felling that whatsoever I am bringing to the table is not good enough I dump it. I mean there is no need to continue to work on something that may fail eventually. The truth I realized is that ‘may’ is not synonymous to what eventually happens and that a person’s opinion is just is an opinion; I’ve got to have more faith in my work.

Right Information:

With an idea and a schematic way to go about, I feel that all I need to get started. I fail to realize that indeed there is nothing new under the sun and whatsoever I want to embark on someone out there has done so and even done it better. Hence, my way is necessarily not the best way. You would imagine that in this age where information is a click away I would reason like that (I’m amazed at myself too).

As I told myself this hard truth, I cannot but feel better. Whoa!! It’s the beginning of a new era for me.

Closing Note

Sometimes it’s hard to tell oneself the truth, but it eventually pays off.Guess what? This was the first thing I actually everfinished and my strings of formerly unfinished projects are one by one being finished up. I can say that this exercise was helpful to me and could also be of help to you if you try it.

xxxx

Voice in a pen              

KNOCK KNOCK………2012 IS NEAR

The year is drawing close to an end and 2012 is knocking at the door. I’ve got a great feeling about this year but right now I have mixed feelings as to what the year holds for me. In my mind I am well aware that the coming year would only produce whatsoever I put in it, like they say you reap what you sow.

Here lies my dilemma, I have tried to strategize for the coming year knowing it going to be a great one but I loose the strength to sit down and strategize, write out goals, map out a concise plan (I could go on and on) but here I am with a note pad and a pen, I know what I want but my expression fails me. Time is ticking, ticking got just 288 hours left in 2011. It seems like a lot of time but if look closely it is not exactly. Was the complaint of my colleague some days ago.

This was my gracious reply;

For every journey you need a road map and this is what a goal can be simply referred to as; a ‘road map’. May be settling down to map out the coming year seem a bit of a task, but let’s take it from this perspective imagine yourself in the new year being carried away by all sort of events, missing on opportunities because you were not prepared for it. Life is like a boat taking a sail on the sea and if the captain does not take charge of the boat, it may sink or something terrible may occur.

You are the captain of your life and you can inspire yourself to make the right decisions that would make a change in the life you have now and the life you want to live, I must shortly say the there is a gap between the life you live now and the life you want to live. How can I bridge this gap? He said. My reply was by setting practical goals in simple term you don’t need to go all grammatical (lol) your goals are not defined by your grammatical rambling but in the simple words or sentence mapping out the course through which your boat would sail.

Well that discussion ended well as my colleague walked out grinning from ear to ear  are you in such a fix I guess this would be of tremendous help to you.

I am looking forward to the New Year are you?

Naija Ready Writer: SOUL FOOD

Naija Ready Writer: SOUL FOOD: Every day as I awake I am overwhelmed at the quantum of work I’ve got do. Take a ride with me, to see how my day has been of late; Wake u...

SOUL FOOD

Every day as I awake I am overwhelmed at the quantum of work I’ve got do. Take a ride with me, to see how my day has been of late;

Wake up at 6: am, (Omg i woke up 30 mins late), my next lines are ‘thank you Jesus for making me wake up this morning in my right state of mind’ (I think cuz all these things to achieve in a day sometimes drives me nut) continuing in prayer I say ‘Lord keep and guide me help me make the right decisions, so help me God’ IJN. I hit the shower and whoosh the day has begun. Till I come back to my room exhausted, struggle to take shower and jumping on bed immediately transiting to a world where nothing mattered.

Well that was me a week ago, having to share myself with my books, myself and doing things I love to do (like I am doing now). Being a final year student in a school where deadlines have to be meet, impromptu tests  which I can’t afford to mess up (heavens knows I need my grades up), seemly unnecessary assignment (they would help  my grades so am all for it lol..), having to deal with strategizing for what I want to do with my life after bagging a B.Sc. , keeping up with eating right cuz I’ve lost a lot of pounds and most importantly having time to fellowship with my Heavenly Father who has done nothing but to love me unconditionally and en-grace me as well.

To get out of this mess, I consumed what I have termed ‘soul food’, I know you are wondering what this is about so let me break it down. Soul food means to seek out the things that give you utmost concern and drawing out a plan to attend to these things. When I realized this, I made a list consisting of my final year project, my academic study, career (this is different from what I am studying in school), resting periods, eating well (got to gain some pounds), value adding time (to myself of course) and communing time with God the one I cannot do without through bible study, prayer and praise. Oh you must think, I got it all together immediately. Nope! My consistency was tried and the days I did not achieve much rather than engage in self-condemnation I arose and picked up the next day.

 For me it is no longer pursuits with exhausion, its pursuits with rest and by His grace it’s gonna be that way.

Take a bold step; try this because you’ll be better for it.